Looking back as a Homeschooling Parent

April 7, 2013 By 13 Comments

looking backAs parents, it’s easy to look back on our parenting years, and think:  “I wish I had…..”  It’s also fun to look back, and say “I’m glad I did…..”

After homeschooling for 28 years, and caring for and training my 8 children for 32 years, I am feeling a little sad as I realize how close I am to “the end”.  In a little over two years, my youngest child, my 16 year-old son will graduate, and more than likely leave home to go to college.  Thinking about it made me kind of introspective, and I pondered just a few things that I would do differently.

If I had it to do over:

1.  I would say yes more often.

2.  I would smile and laugh more, rather than being so intense.

3.  I wouldn’t be so idealistic, but rather strive more for realistic.

4.  I would have kept “tucking” my kids in and praying with them at night all the way into and through the teen years.

5.  I would work more on training the difficult child, rather than asking  a more compliant child  to do things to “avoid the hassle” of dealing with the difficult one.

6.  I would not compare myself to other homeschooling moms, or moms in general.

7.  I would judge my homeschooling success more on how much my children have learned wisdom, rather than on if they were “caught up” for their age/grade level.

8.  I would remember that the time I spend daily teaching, training, and caring for the children, my husband, and our home is more important than anything I didn’t accomplish on my “to do” list.

The things I am glad I did, and that I would do all over again:

1.  Homeschool all the kids all the way through grade 12.

2.  Spend a lot of time on Scripture memory, and character training with them.

3.  Give up a good paying secular job to stay home and raise my children, and spend every day with them.

4.  Correct the children with Scripture when wrong behavior was shown.

5.  Seek Godly wisdom and counsel from those who are older and wiser.

Just a few thoughts from my heart.  :)

Linking up with:

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Filed Under: Bible, Character, difficult child, disciplining wtih Scripture, Homeschooling, Parenting

Changing Behavior or Changing Hearts?

March 28, 2013 By 6 Comments

tws-BookOften when we see wrong behavior or attitudes in our children,  we look at it as an interruption to what we are doing or trying to get done, and it aggravates us to have to stop and deal with that child’s actions or attitude.  At that point, it’s easy to scold out of frustration, or tell them,”Stop arguing!”, “Don’t do that!”, or “Behave!”  When we do that, we are letting an opportunity go by to point them to what God says about that behavior.  In the book, Passionate Parenting, author Cary Schmidt asks the question, “If you had to quantify your parenting focus with following words, which two would be most accurate: Managing Behavior or  Mentoring Hearts?”

 He then goes on to remind us of the purpose of discipline:  “In the big picture, all discipline is about bringing our children into a right relationship with their Heavenly Father that He might bless their lives.  It’s not about controlling behavior, modifying behavior, or minimizing embarrassment. Biblically correcting your child is one of the greatest ways to win their heart to you and to God forever.”  (Passionate Parenting)

This is such an important truth to remember!  The exciting thing is that God gave us His word as the tool we need to discipline in a way that will bring them into a right relationship with Him.  Using Scripture is one of the most powerful way to correct and train our children’s hearts, because God’s Word has power that our words don’t have.  With that in mind, I’d like to tell you about my new ebook that I just completed:

      “Training and Correcting the Heart with Scripture” 

TWS-example

This book is designed to make it simple for parents to use God’s Word for reproof, correction, and training in righteousness. Included is a Bible study of 21 character qualities, including the Bible commands concerning it, the negative consequences of it, and the positive consequences of following God’s way instead.

There is also a Topical List of Behaviors and Applicable Bible Verses for 17 behaviors we often deal with when raising our children.  The final section is a study that compares the foolish person to the wise person.

This is an excellent resource that will easily enable parents to use God’s Word for correction and training throughout each day, and make the most of those training/correcting opportunities when they arise!

For more info CLICK HERE. 

 

Filed Under: Bible, consistent discipline, disciplining wtih Scripture, frustrated mom, Heart issues, Parenting, Teaching God's Word, training children

Memorizing Scripture With Your Kids

February 13, 2013 By 5 Comments

As you probably know from reading my blog, or if you’ve heard me speak at conferences, I feel it is VERY important that we spend time helping our children memorize God’s Word, from the time they are young. When our kids were young, we felt memorizing Scripture was one of the most important things we could do with them, and for them. Therefore, we spent a LOT of time on it. Every day we worked on new passages, as well as reviewing the old ones we had learned. We also sang Scripture songs daily to help keep them in our hearts and minds. I can’t begin to tell you what a blessing this was to our kids, and to ME!

Today I’m excited to introduce you to a new tool to help you teach your children God’s Word. Often we don’t get around to it, because we’re just not sure how to do it, or what verses to start with. Jennifer Thorson, from the Purposeful Mom, sent me a review copy of her new ebook, “God’s Word in My Heart – a Scripture Learning Guide With Memory Verses.”Gods Word in My Heart pic

Included in the book are:

*Instructions for Using God’s Word in My Heart

*Ideas for Teaching Scripture to Your Children, from the Baby on Up

*List of Songs and other Go-Alongs for Learning Scripture

*Specific Songs for Verses from God’s Word in My Heart

*Printable Scripture Memory Verses for Use at Home and at Church

*ABC Memory Verses

*Verses on Our Sin and God’s Grace (Salvation)

 

This is a very practical, easy tool to use if you want to begin teaching Scripture to your children, or need some ideas to keep on memorizing! She gives several fun, creative ideas to teach the verses to different ages, using variety in your methods, so it keeps their interest. This was written primarily for preschool and grade school age children, but Jennier shares a few ideas from a friend on learning the Bible with junior high and high school age kids.

There are three versions of God’s Word in My Heart available:

KJV (King James Version)
NASB (New American Standard)
Variety (ESV, NIV 1984, NASB, NKJV

For more information about this ebook, or to order it, click here. God’s Word in My Heart will be released tomorrow - Feb. 14, and  will be on sale all day for only $1.99. After that, it will go back to the regular price of $3.99.  (This is an affiliate link.)

 

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, Memorizizing Bible, Sing Scripture

4 Tips to Help You Get Through Dry Spells

January 27, 2013 By 3 Comments

Open BibleThis past summer my son came home from teen camp all excited, and encouraged about his walk with God.  I remember him trying to express to me the desire he had to read His Bible, and spend time with the Lord.  He found it difficult to express the feelings he had – the hunger he was feeling as He sought to hear God speak through His Word.  It made me think of the verse in Psalm 42:1:

“As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.”

My son had been faithfully reading His Bible daily up till camp, but without even realizing it, he had been in a “dry spot”.  He no longer was really eager to read his Bible, but kept at it because he knew it was important.   He didn’t approach it with  eager anticipation, but rather a sense of duty. It had gotten stale, or old – just a ritual.  When he came out of the dry spot, he realized where he had been.  All of you can probably relate to this.  In the Christian life it is normal to have “dry spots” – times where we lose our zeal for God; times that we read His Word but come away with nothing.  What do you do when you are in a dry spot?  Some ideas  that have helped me:

1. Change your Bible reading plan. 

If you find you are struggling to get anything out of your Bible reading, maybe it’s time to switch from reading through the Bible in a year, and instead start reading a chapter a day. Reading less often makes me slow down, and I am able to get something out of that one chapter. My kids have read the Bible through several times from the time they were about 9 up through their teen years, and usually they did it on a schedule that took them a year. Sometimes I could tell they were reading, but not comprehending much – they were just threading the words through their eyes. They weren’t gleaning a thought or two to take with them through the day, or a new idea to help them in their walk with God. When I sensed that, I would praise them for their faithfulness in taking the time daily to keep the commitment of reading their Bible through that year. Then I would encourage them that it was okay to take a break from that, and read less each day, but seek a nugget of wisdom from what they read.

2. Read in a book of the Bible that has always blessed you.  

Sometimes I just need to go back to reading from Psalms and Proverbs. I can always get something from those books that speaks to my heart, and helps me through out the day.

3. Listen to a narrated version of the Bible.

You can follow along in your Bible or just listen. Recently I downloaded a Bible app on my phone that reads the passages out loud, and I started listening to it every morning while I’m fixing my hair, putting on my make-up, etc. That way I start my morning off hearing & thinking about God’s Word, and before I can be distracted by other things. We also have a set of CDs with a narrated, dramatized version of the Bible, and the expression that is used makes it very interesting to listen to.  Sometimes hearing the Bible read with expression makes it come alive, and keep your attention.  At times I tend to get more out of the listening, than the reading, because the expression draws me in.  The stories especially come to life when dramatized.

4. Keep reading your Bible daily, even when your heart isn’t in it.

Why?  Because it’s the right thing to do! The Bible is our guide book for life.  We are told to study it to, to mediate on it, to obey it, etc.  It’s a vital part of knowing God and walking in His ways.

When you find yourself in the midst of a “dry spell’, and feel you’re not getting much from God’s Word, remember that the Bible cleanses us spiritually as we read it.  It is like running water through a strainer. The water passes right through it, but in so doing, it tends to cleanse it.  It’s okay to read less, or change plans. It’s okay to “listen” rather than read.  The key thing is we need to keep getting God’s Word into our mind.  The important thing is to stay faithful!

 

Filed Under: Bible, Bible reading, Character, dry spot spiritually, Time with God

Building Character In Your Kids

January 20, 2013 By 6 Comments

characterSeveral months ago I posted an article called Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Best Mom of All?  At the end of that article I mentioned 4 “must dos” for moms.  If you missed that article you can read it here: Mirror Mirror

The first “must do” was:  DISCIPLINE 

The second one:  TEACH GOD’S WORD DILIGENTLY

Today I’ll be talking about the third “must do”:

TRAIN OUR KIDS IN GODLY CHARACTER

This is one of my favorite topics, and something I am passionate about!  I am SO glad that when my husband and I first started homeschooling 28 years ago, we were blessed to hear a speaker at a homeschool conference that stressed the importance of training our children in character.  It’s so easy to make sure that our kids are well educated in the academics, and that they develop skills in music or sports, while neglecting the vital area of character training.  Character is one of the most important things that we can develop in our children.  However, it’s also a difficult and demanding job.  As parents, it is our responsibility to work hard at helping our children develop and grow in character.  We are the best equipped for this job because we love them more than anyone else, and we know them best.  We need to get excited about and have a vision for raising a generation of young people with good strong Christian character, who will stand out in the world, and be used of God.

Romans 13:14 says, “Put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ.”  This is a good definition of character – Christ-likeness.  This must be VERY important to God, as this is a command.  And of course, God equips us with the best resource for doing the job of teaching this – His Word.

I’m going to share three important ways that our children learn character.

children will be what you are1. Our children learn character from EXAMPLE OR SOCIAL EXPOSURE..live so integrity

Our children are influenced by every experience in life.  It’s important , therefore, to guard and protect them from the wrong examples and influences in their formative years, while giving them positive role models, and setting an example for them by our own lives.  Our kids become what we are.  It doesn’t matter WHAT we say or teach – it’s what we DO that influences them the most.

2. Our children learn character through DISCIPLINE.

When your child acts wrong, or shows wrong behavior or attitudes, look at this as an opportunity to teach and train.  I already touched on this in the post:  Not THAT Stuff Again! 

Let me just remind you again, that we shouldn’t let those chances go.  It’s easy to get busy or distracted, and miss a great opportunity to point our kids to what God’s word says about their behavior, and to train them in Godly character.  If you have a difficult child, you are blessed with even MORE opportunities a day to shape their character with each occasion that training or discipline is needed.  By the way, the more time you spend training, the less time you should have to spend disciplining.  Teach your kids what is expected or allowed, then require the right behavior.

3.  Our children learn character through PLANNED, POSITIVE CONSTRUCTIVE TEACHING.

This is the KEY.  Don’t leave it to chance, but make plans to purposely teach your children to be like Christ-like.  Have daily character lessons when you teach them different character qualities, what they mean,  examples from the Bible of that quality being shown in a negative or positive way, and the results of the negative or positive behavior in that area.  Tell true to life stories relating to different character qualities.  (Like the time I wasn’t “attentive” in school, and failed the test as a result.)

We have opportunities daily to speak of character traits like kindness, perseverance, honesty, initiative, diliegence, etc.  These are words the kids should be very familiar with and hear often.

Think of the character training that our soldiers receive, and the discipline involved.  Then think – we’re raising Christian soldiers for the Lord.  What a job – what an opportunity!  Let’s raise a mighty army for the Lord!

(If you are looking for resources to help you train your children in Godly character, check our out CHARACTER STORE for some of my favorite resources that we have used over the years with our family!)

Filed Under: attentiveness, Bible, Character, diligence, discipline, Influencing children, Parental example, Parenting, perseverance

Not That Stuff Again! (Discipline)

January 16, 2013 By 8 Comments

Several months ago I posted an article called Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Best Mom of All?  At the end of that article I mentioned 4 “must dos” for moms.  If you missed that article you can read it here: Mirror Mirror   For  my next 4 posts, I’m going to go into more detail on each of the four things we must do.

parental disciplineToday I’m going to focus on the first “must do” for mothers:  DISCIPLINE

Perhaps your reaction to the subject of discipline is “Oh no, here we go again!”  Yes, we hear a great deal about discipline, but that’s because the Bible is full of discipline.  (Check Proverbs out and you’ll see!)  I’m not going to go into a lot of how-to’s at this point, but just give a few thoughts on the subject.

First, if you are going to teach and train your kids correctly, it’s going to take time!  Perhaps you feel like you already discipline your kids and it’s really no big deal.  But, I’m not talking about sitting in the chair with your feet up, yelling “Junior, stop hitting your brother right now!  Both of you quit fighting and be quiet!  I’m trying to read!”  Nor am I talking about grabbing your child and smacking him in anger as you yell and carry on.  That just doesn’t get the job done!  It may work temporarily, but it will not produce lasting results.  Rather, you must be consistent in your discipline.  When your kids are young and just learning, much of your time will be taken up with training and teaching correct behavior.  We wouldn’t need to spend NEAR as much time on discipline, if we would spend more time on teaching and training in right behavior.  The harder your work on this the first 4 to 5 years, the easier the next 13 years will be.  What you need to decide is whether you’re willing to make the sacrifice to do right.  Is it important enough to you?  Unfortunately, we say we believe the Bible, but often we don’t do what God says about training our children and bringing them up as we should.  Our kids need to know that we will be consistent.  What is the cost?  Perhaps it’s just stopping whatever we’re doing to get up and correct our children; or maybe it’s cutting a phone call with a friend short because our kids aren’t obeying.  (That’s when my kids ALWAYS acted the worst!)  I guess over all it means giving up what I want to do to take care of disobedience or wrong attitudes and actions immediately.  It means always being aware of what they’re doing, how they’re treating their siblings, what their attitudes are like, etc.  It takes being vigilant and aware.  When we see a wrong reaction, or hear unkind words from them, what do we do?  The normal response is to either ignore it, or give them a good scolding (which they often tune out!).  When we ignore a wrong reaction, we are wasting an opportunity to train our child from God’s Word.  Yelling at him may help vent my frustration, but it doesn’t help train him – it just stops him till the next time.  The reason for that is because I’ve done nothing to get to the heart issue.  All discipline should be approached with the question of what heart issue needs to be dealt with here?  Is it pride, selfishness, anger, etc?

Discipline is defined in the dictionary as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.”  So, true discipline, or training, is going to take time.  I think the best tool is always the Word of God.  Next time your kids are speaking unkindly, rather than telling them to be quiet, or sending them to their rooms, tell them to get their Bibles and come to the kitchen table.  Explain to them that the Bible has an answer to all our problems, and since they’re having a problem with their tongue, let’s see what the Bible says.  Share some verses with them, and maybe have them choose a couple to write down.  Give them a special notebook and next time there’s a problem in another area, put verses on a separate page for that.  Then pray with them asking God to help them with this problem.  Memorizing one of the verses together would also be a good idea.  It will amaze you how your kids respond to this!  God’s Word is powerful, and does SO much more than our scoldings and rantings!  It definitely takes longer than yelling at them, but it’s worth the time.  It also keeps your mind on God’s Word.  I need that as a mom, and my kids need it too, so we all benefit.

By the way, you can use the Word of God with your very little ones too.  When they disobey, remind them that the Bibles says “Children obey your parents.”, or when they’re mean remind them that it says to be kind.

Rather than getting frustrated when our kids misbehave, let’s ask God to help us use those opportunities to teach our children God’s  answers  to their problems.  Decide that you will take the time to discipline your children according to God’s Word, and stick with your commitment.  It’s not always convenient, but God will reward your efforts.  Isaiah 55:11 says, “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth; it shall NOT return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”  When we discipline with Scripture, it  will accomplish what it is supposed to.

(For more in depth teaching about discipline, you can purchase my MP3 download:  The Foundation of Discipline    Also, if you have trouble finding verses for each offense, I LOVE the book “Proverbs for Parenting“.  This book has been my best friend for years!  :)   Every issue you could deal with is listed in the index, and takes you to the section that has all the verses in Proverbs on that topic.

(This series of articles is  from my booklet”  Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Best Mom of All?”  Recently I made an ebook called “From My House to Your House” that contains many articles from that booklet, and a few new ones as well.  We changed the title of the ebook to Mirror, Mirror On the Wall, as I felt that was a better title choice,  If you enjoy these series of articles, you will find many more helpful ones that you’ll enjoy in the ebook.)

 

 

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, consistent discipline, discipline, disciplining wtih Scripture, Heart issues, Parenting, training children

Peace in the Storms of Life

January 11, 2013 By 1 Comment

peace in the storm

Carrying a heavy weight right now – one child making some serious decisions that have me concerned. Another one struggling with some very difficult circumstances. The mother in me hurts for her.

Thoughts are swirling through my head for both of my precious children.

Worry – what if…….

Then the thoughts of what I can do to “fix it” (isn’t that mothers do?!) “If I do or say this, then maybe…..”

Then God speaks and says, “Let ME. I don’t need your help. Just give it to me, let go, and trust.”

Sounds so easy, but it’s not. So I have to choose – I can continue to carry the burden, and be consumed with the possibilities of what might (or might NOT!) happen.  I can continue to be consumed with concern for the hurt that the one is facing – or I can can remember that it  will make her a stronger, better person if she turns to God through it. I am choosing to give it all to God. Both of the kids, both of their circumstances, and all of their needs. As I let go, I feel His peace.  Then I ask myself, “Why didn’t I do that sooner?!  Why do I carry burdens when He tells me to cast my cares on Him?  Why don’t I trust Him like I should?  He has never failed me yet!”

I think one of the reasons this is SO hard for me, and probably for most moms, is that we have always been there to help our kids – to kiss their ouchies, hug them when they cry, and take care of what is causing the tears.  However, as our kids get older, we don’t have the same control.  We can’t control their every decision, or the outcome of those decisions.  We can’t keep them from the hurts that are part of life.  It makes me think of the story in the Bible when the disciples were in the boat with Jesus.  The wind started blowing, and the waves grew high.  The disciples couldn’t do anything to control the weather, but they went to the one who could.  Jesus got up, and said, “Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.”  The exciting lesson here for me:  I can’t control the storms that come into the lives of my kids, but I can go to the one who can, and the one who has control!  He then whispers peace to my soul.

Some things that help me when I am struggling with worry, and need to give it to God:

1.  I go to my Bible, and find verses to encourage me.  Verses about God’s peace, about trusting God, and pouring out my heart to Him.

2.  I listen to good music.  This morning I was listening to music on the Christian radio station, and the song came on “There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus; no, not one!”  My eyes filled up with tears as I was reminded of this truth.  What a privilege to be able to “have a friend in Jesus”, and take everything to Him in prayer.

3.  I try to stay busy.  It’s easy to get consumed with the thoughts, and not want to do much.  Keep doing what you need to do – nothing changes or gets fixed by just sitting & thinking about it.

It’s easy as a mom to fall into the worry mode, and then we are tired, and discouraged, and everything seems even worse.  I’m so glad that we can always go to God, and He will give us His peace and comfort in any of the situations we are facing or dealing with. I love the verse in Psalm 94:14:  “In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”  No matter what storm you may be facing, and all the thoughts that go with that storm, trust God with those thoughts, and let Him comfort you with His peace!

(This relates to my previous post:  HOLD ON)

 

Filed Under: Bible, Discouragement, God's peace, Mothers, Need Comfort, Parenting, trusting God, worry

7 Things We Need to Remember – part 4

December 11, 2012 By 5 Comments

In the previous 3 posts, we have talked about the following things that we need to remember:

1.  Our Purpose

2.  Our Position and Perseverance

3.  Our Priorities and Power

 

Today we will talk about the last 2 things that we need to remember.

6.  Promises

Probably one of the best ways to describe our parenting and homeschooling days is BUSY.  And often in the midst of all the busy, we begin to carry the weight of all our responsibilities on our own shoulders.  We forget, like I mentioned in the last post, about our power, and the promises that are ours to claim.  God doesn't lie, and if He promised it, we can believe it.  We need to remember and claim His promises!  A few of my favorites:

"Let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."  Galatians 6:9

"Call unto me and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not."  Jeremiah 33:3

"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth; it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." "Isaiah 55:11 

As we use God's Word to teach and train our kids, let's remember these promises, and that His Word will NOT return unto Him void.  And when you are weary, remember you will reap results, but you have to keep on.

Find some promises that encourage you, and claim those!  Write them down somewhere where you will see them everyday.

7.  Product

This point kind of goes back to our first point – what is our purpose, or what are our goals?  What do we want to see in our kids as a result of our teaching and training? 

"How will God characterize the lives of our children someday?  Would to God it will be said that our children did that which was right in the sight of the Lord all the days of their lives.  God has promised to bless the righteous.  I long for God's blessing on my children.                 -Dave Sorenson Training Our Children to Turn Out Right      

 

I shared this song/poem in a previous post, but it fits so well with this point that I'm going to share it again as an ending to this point, and this series of posts.  It has a great message, and is a great reminder to us of our responsibility as parents to remember these things!

The Finished Product

God gave us a special task, it's a job that we treasure;
His hands made and fashioned a little gift to bring us pleasure.
He counted us worthy to bring your life into this world,
Now He waits to see what your life will be,
O magnify the Lord!

I remember your first smile, and how it touched my heart;
I've known you were a special child from the very start;
And I recall your first steps and how they thrilled us so,
We prayed to God above, that in His love,
He'd guide each step you go!

I remember your first words, spoken in a childish way;
How we longed for our dear Lord to be pleased with the things you say;
And how we strived to hide His Word in your soul, to cleanse your way,
And purify your heart – please don't depart,
Don't ever go astray!

Now we know the time has come when you must start to school;
How could we send you to a place where our Lord is ridiculed,
Where blasphemies and mockeries are uttered by the score,
What would it do, to little you?
Oh, you deserve more!

For all you are is what we make you, and you deserve the best;
We want to plant in you a faith that will withstand every test;
We must not fail to train you up in the way that you should go;
Everything we say, every move we make,
Every place we go, every step we take,
Everything we do will all influence you….
What will God say when we give to Him the finished product?

                                                                                                                             -Bonita Epley

                           

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, Discouragement, God's promises, Homeschool goals, Mothers, Product of parenting, Purpose in parenting, Purpose of homeschooling, Truth of God's Word

7 Things We Need to Remember – part 3

December 9, 2012 By 2 Comments

 In Part 1, we talked about remembering our PURPOSE.

 In Part 2, we talked about remembering our POSITION AND THE NEED FOR PERSEVERENCE.

 Today, I'm going to talk about the next two things we need to remember.

4.  PRIORITIES

Having our priorities in order helps us to persevere when things get tough, or we get tired.  Priorities keep our focus in the proper place so when doubts and discouragement come, we will persevere by holding fast to those priorities.  If we don't KNOW our true priorities, we will be easily overwhelmed. 

The word priority is defined as first in rank or time of service.  So basically, our priorities are the things that we give first place to daily.  We may say something is a priority, but if we let something else replace that, the replacement has become the priority.  For example, as parents who are trying to raise Godly children, we say that teaching them God's Word is a priority.  But often, we will let our schedule get so busy, that we go through the day without spending time teaching them God's Word.  We have let those other demands become our priorities. 

I mention this often, and I don't mean to be repetitive, but this is something that I have to remind myself of regularly, so I will share it again.  God's Word shows us what our priorities should be as parents.  In II Peter 1:5 it says, "….add to your faith virtue (or character); and to virtue knowledge."  Our first priority ought to be building our children's faith, by teaching them about God, to love God, and to know & love His Word.  Next, we should work on their character development.  This takes work and time, but it is our job as parents, so we need to make it a daily priority.  Third would be the academics or knowledge.  I would much rather my children have the character quality of wisdom, and lack a little bit of knowledge, than the opposite. (Proverbs 4:7  Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom.) Wisdom  is just one of the many character qualities we should be trying to teach and example to our children.  We need to remember to purposely work on their character, and make it a daily priority.

"Development of character is critical to the proper growth and maturation of a young child.  Home educators are returning to the crucial development and nurture of character.  The most important task on the educator is to prepare his students for life.  And the best way to prepare a student for life, is to teach, model, and promote the development of godly character.  Character training is the most important and most laudable activity for a teacher to be engaged in.  If a student is taught nothing else save character alone, he will be better prepared for life than those who are taught pure academics but no character."    -Ray Ballman  THE HOW AND WHY OF HOMESCHOOLING.

Keeping these priorities in place is something we need to always be working on.  Occasionally check how you have spent your time during the week, and see what your time usage indicated that your priorities were. Make sure you don't let other things take first place over what God says is most important.  (See article:  Keeping School in Its Proper Place)

5.  POWER

One of my favorite quotes is:  we need to work as though it all depends on us, and pray as though it all depends on God!  Even if we do "all the right things", God has to also work in our children's  heart.  It's such a blessing to know that even when we feel desperate, we don't have to do it on our own!  We have a God in heaven who invites us to come to Him, and seek His help and power. 

"Thus saith the Lord, Ask me of things to come concerning my sons, and concerning the work of my hands command ye me."  Isaiah 45:11

I just LOVE that verse!  It's an open invitation to come to God.  We must not forget where our power comes from, nor to ask for it.

"The battle for our kids is waged on our knees.  When we don't pray, it' slike sitting on the sidelines watching our children in a war zone getting shot at from every angle.  When we DO pray, we're in the battle along side them, appropriating God's power on their behalf.  When you pray for your child, do it as if you are interceding for his or her life because that is what you ar edoing.  You're fighting the devil.  When we regularly and consistenly come before the Lord on behalf of our amily, we are acknowleding our dependence on Him to work in their lives.  "                                                                                                                                                                               The Power of a Praying Parent - by Stormie Omartian

How often do you pray for God's wisdom and guidance, and how often do you pray for Him to work in their heart? This is something we really need to remember to do!

TO BE CONTINUED……

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, depending on God, Discouragement, Faith, Feeling overwhelmed, Parenting, Pray for wisdom, priorities, wisdom from God

Three Ways Children Learn at Home

October 10, 2012 By 1 Comment

Children are our most valuable treasure – a gift from God.  With the gift comes the responsibility to love, enjoy, and train them.  I believe there are three important ways that children learn in the home:

1.  Planned, on purpose, teaching (II Timothy 3:14,15)
There are many things that every child should be taught about.  Many of these are things they won't just learn on their own.  If we don't teach them, who will?  Here are just a few of the things that  are very important  to teach:

*Obedience
*Salvation
*Bible principles
*The value of work
*Dependability
*Courtesy
*Unselfishness
*Self-discipline
*Purity of mind and body

Many of these are character qualities; the others relate to building their faith, and teaching them God's Word.  We need to have a set time daily when we teach our kids God's Word, and teach them about Godly character.  We never  teach our  kids to lie or be mean; those things just come naturally to them, due to their sinful nature.  Godly character, on the other hand, is something they have to be taught.  Then we have to pray for them and with them, that they will develop those character qualities and become more like Christ. Not only should we teach them, but  we also need to train them, and practice right behavior. 

2.  Teaching by personal example.
Our children learn MUCH more by what we DO, than by what we SAY.  They notice things, and watch our actions, attitudes, and responses.  In order to build their faith, we need to be an example in several areas:

*Our relationship to the Lord
They need to see us praying, and reading our Bible.  They should see us trusting God when we don't understand, or when we have needs.  If we pray for God to supply, but then fret and worry, our kids aren't going to have faith.  They are going to wonder if they really can trust God, because our example says something different than our words.

*Our relationship to our spouse.
The best way to prepare our children for a happy marriage is to love your husband, and show him the respect and honor he deserves.  Your kids will pick up on that, and will also respect him.

*Our relationship to others.
The greatest commandment in the Bible is to love God; the 2nd greatest command is to love others.  Again, this doesn't come naturally!  We are prone to putting ourself and our needs/wants first, rather than loving others.  The home is a wonderful training ground for teaching your kids to love others.  First, their siblings.  But we should also set an example for them of loving others.  If someone hurts you or is unkind, show love in return; pray for them; do something to bless them.  This will teach your children far more than your words ever can teach!  Also, reach out and minister to others in need, and let the kids help.  For example, let them help you prepare a meal for someone who has just come home from the hospital, or had a new baby.  Be helpful to the that elderly neighbor, and get your kids involved in serving them when there is a need they can meet. (mowing their lawn, shoveling their drive, cleaning the house for them, etc.)

3.  Teach by environment.

What is the environment in your home like?  Is there a spirit of peace and joy?  If someone who didn't know you were a Christian came to your home for a visit, would they be able to tell you were Christians by your actions and words?  Would they see signs of your love for God by verses of Scripture on the wall, or an open Bible on the table?  Your kids will learn from that environment.  They should learn the importance of God's Word by seeing you daily reading your Bible.  When there's conflict, they should be taught to go to God's Word for answers.  Rules should be based on what is pleasing to the Lord.  What kind of reading materials are in your home?  What kind of music do you listen to? What is being watched on TV?  Is going to church to hear the preaching of God's Word a regular thing in your home?  Our kids are influenced by all these choices/actions, and they will make a difference in how your children see things.  Not only should there be the spiritual activities in the home, but also, make your home fun!  Play games together, laugh together, and have a good time as a family.  Christians should be known for their joy.  If we are sour-faced and grumpy, and the atmosphere of the home isn't happy, what is that environment going to teach our children?

Our children are always learning in these 3 ways, weather we mean for them to or not.  They learn by what we choose to teach on purpose, or neglect to teach, they learn from our example, and from our home environment.  My prayer is that I will stay aware of this, and that God will use me to teach my children in the way He has planned.

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, chidren are a gift, environment of home, Faith, Mothers, obedience, Parental example, Parenting, Purity, Reaing Godly children, teaching dependability, teaching value of work, training children

Who Has TIME To Be Spiritual?!

October 6, 2012 By 16 Comments

As a busy homeschooling mom, with eight kids, there have been MANY times that I have felt like I just wasn't very spiritual.  I went to church, as always, but during the week it was easy to get so caught up in all the daily demands, that at night I would fall into bed exhausted.  At that point, I would remember, I never had my quiet time alone with God today!  Then I would hear a sermon about spending time reading chapters of your Bible daily, or spending hours in prayer, and the guilt would begin.  I would start to think that I wasn't a very good Christian at all, and I was far from being the spiritual person I once was.  (before children)  When the pastor preached a sermon about the importance of serving God, and being involved in ministry, I felt like a failure.  I was no longer able to be involved in all the ministries that I once loved being part of in church.  After the service, I went to my pastor and mentioned my feelings to him.  He very wisely reminded me that taking care of my family and home IS my ministry.  He said, "Don't you EVER feel like you're not serving God, when you spend everyday teaching, training, and caring for your family.  That is what God has called you to do."  In my heart, I knew that.  However, it was good to hear it from him, and have that reinforced in my mind.  It's so easy to look at how things "used to be" before we had kids.  We may have been able to spend an hour or two a day in Bible reading, prayer, and Bible memory.  Time alone with God each morning was the normal thing – a habit – you never missed.  I believe it is still very important as moms to make sure we spend time with God, and in His Word.  However, the "alone" part might be a bit more difficult.  That's when it is time to come up with creative ideas to "stay spiritual" throughout the day.  Here are some things that I have done over the years that helped me in this area.

1.  Start the day off by singing a Scripture song with the kids before you eat breakfast.
This was SO helpful for me!  I don't always wake up fast, and definitely not in a cheerful mood.  Kids, on the other hand, are wide awake and ready to go!  Singing a Scripture song helps my spirit, and prepares me for the day.  It also continues to help throughout the day, as the words of the song go through my mind.  One day I was in a grumbly mood when doing the dishes, and the song came to mind that we had just sung a couple hours before:  "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God."  It’s hard to keep a bad attitude with those words running through your mind!

2.  Have Bible time right after breakfast. We will read a few verses or a chapter together, and talk briefly about what it means and how to appy it to our lives.  I need this time to get some of God’s Word into my heart and mind for the day, and by doing this with the kids every day, it’s showing them that this is something important.  We also have a short time of prayer to ask God’s wisdom and help for that day.  After this, I always have my older kids go to their rooms or a quiet place, and have their own quiet time with the Lord.  This is a habit I want them to develop, and make a top priority in their lives.

3.  Use God’s Word to discipline and correct your children throughout the day.  It’s so easy to get frustrated when our children are having bad attitudes, or showing wrong behavior.  We look at it as an interruption, as we are busy trying to get through the school lessons for the day.  Instead of looking at it as interruption though, we should look at it as an opportunity!  It’s a chance for us take them to God’s Word, and show them what God says about that behavior, and give them Bible answers to their struggles.  It's important to approach this with the right spirit.  You don’t want your kids to come to dislike the Bible, because you’re always “hitting them over the head with it.”  We approached it with the words “We know how much you love God, and want to please Him.  When you acted like that (or did/said that), God wasn’t pleased.  Let’s go to His Word, and see what He says that will help you.”  Then be sure and pray with them about it afterwards, and encourage them that with God’s help they can do better.

There are 2 benefits to disciplining with Scripture.  One is the benefit to you, as you continually are exposed to God’s Word throughout the day. If you have been blessed with a difficult child, just think HOW many times a day you get to go to God’s Word!!  Secondly, it keeps you calm in your discipline when you approach it this way.   It’s hard to stay angry when you are talking to your kids about pleasing God, and reading the Bible to/with them!

Now if you’re like me, and struggle with your memory, maybe you’re wondering how you will ever come up with the right verses every time you need them.  My favorite resource for years has been our book “Proverbs for Parenting”.  When there is an issue to deal with, I just turn to the index of the book, find that topic, then turn to the section that has all the verses in Proverbs that relate to it. (The section we use the most:  Control of Mouth!) It makes it easy for me to always be able to use Scripture, and not respond with the usual scolding, or my own “words of wisdom”.  God’s Word has so much more power than our words, and I have seen how effective it is when I use it with the kids.  The difficult children especially seem to respond well, and I will notice their countenance soften, and their eyes fill with tears, as God’s word brings conviction.

4.  Listen to good music throughout the day.  Having hymns and Godly music playing does so much for your spirit, and will help you feel closer to God.  I have found that even playing Patch the Pirate cds for the kids helps me!  The music on them is very uplifting, and helps me to keep a song in my heart.  Another thing I've done with music, is have a little "praise time" with the kids.  I may not have time to spend alone praising God daily, but I can have a time with the kids where we sing praise on their level. We sing little choruses like:  "My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty", "I Love You Lord", and "Praise Him, praise Him, all ye little children".  It's amazing what singing these little songs of praise will do for you, as you focus on God's greatness! 

These are just a few of the things that have helped me keep my mind a little more focused on the Lord throughout the busy, hectic days.  Don’t despair if you find it difficult to have a “quiet time ALONE” with God.  Take advantage of the opportunities you have during the day with your kids, to include God and His word, and you will be surprised at how it will make you feel closer to God daily!

 

*If you are interested in Patch the Pirate CDs or Proverbs for Parenting, you can find them in our character store:  http://courtshipconnection.com/character/

Filed Under: A Good Christian, Bible, Bible reading, Character, disciplining wtih Scripture, Faith, Homeschooling, hymns, Mothers, Parenting, Sing Scripture, time for Bible reading, Time for Praise, time for prayer, Time with God

Let’s Celebrate!

October 1, 2012 By 8 Comments

What kind of things do you celebrate at your house?  Most people celebrate holidays, birthdays, etc.  It's fun to plan and make these days special for our family.

Over the years we've enjoyed some unusual, but special celebrations with our family. The first one was for Bible reading.  When my oldest two daughters were 8 and 10, we encouraged them to read the Bible all the way through. I told them that when they finished we would have a celebration, because that is a BIG accomplishment.  I didn't tell them any of my plans though, which made them all the more excited about this big day.  They both finished reading their Bible through in less than a year, and as soon as they did, we chose a date to celebrate.

The first thing we did was go out to eat at their favorite restaurant.  We were able to use the banquet room, which made it even more special.  We invited adopted "Grandma Mayers" to go along and be part of this exciting celebration.  (She was as excited as the rest of us were about it!)  After everyone finished their meal, we made them wait for dessert, so we could have the first part of our celebration.  I gave everyone a pin that said "The Bible Only".  Then I had a very special surprise for the girls.  Unknown to them, I had asked ten or twelve people to write them a note congratulating them and encouraging them to continue to be faithful in their Bible reading.  These were from our pastor, the associate pastor, one of the deacons, some of their Sunday school and church-time teachers, and relatives.  I purposely chose people whom they looked up to, and who were special to them.  I gave the girls these notes one at a time, and they read them out loud.  My heart was touched as they read them, and my eyes filled with tears of gratitude for the adults who were willing to help stress the importance of this accomplishment. The girls were touched too.  They couldn't believe all the people who took time to write them a personal note.  Finally, we got to the end of the notes.  Now another big surprise was in store.  Both girls were presented with a beautiful plaque, with an open Bible, and the lamp of learning.  The inscription had their name, the date, and said "Faithfulness in Bible Reading".  Of course, they were delighted with these!  We also made an award certificate on parchment paper.  On it there were 5 open Bibles, and on the first one we wrote the date they finished.  (leaving 4 other Bibles for future celebrations)

Every two or three weeks we also would have a small celebration for another area of spiritual accomplishment – growth in godly character.  I made a chart called "Excellence in Character", and listed character qualities down the side. Throughout the week, I watched for good character, and gave them a little tally mark under their name beside the trait they showed.  It made them watch for opportunities to show good character, and it made me look for the GOOD in them, rather than just noticing the bad, as I was prone to do!  At the end of the set time, we would give the winner a small prize (from the dollar store), and a ribbon which said "Excellence in Character:  Let us not be weary in well doing."  Then we would all have a special treat, like ice cream or cookies.  The kids worked really hard to show diligence, initiative, obedience, etc. because of this.  Why did we go to that effort?  Because we wanteed to encourage our kids to develop godly character, and to choose on purpose to do things that showed good character.

Think about your celebrations as a family.  Rather than celebrating just the normal occasions, decide to also make  special plans for some celebrations that will encourage spiritual growth in the things that God says are important.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Bible, Bible reading, Celebrate Bible reading, celebrations, Character, Character resource, encouraging children, obedience, Parenting, Reading Bible all the way through

When God Disappoints Us

September 25, 2012 By 4 Comments

My  little nephew was working in the garden with his grandpa one day, and enjoying being his helper.  As they worked, it started to thunder, and the sky grew dark.  His grandpa told him they better put the things away, and stop working because it was about to storm.  He put his little fist in the air, and said in his childish voice, "Why God?  Why you do that?"  He was disappointed that God was sending a storm, and he didn't hesitate to say so.  As adults, there are times when we too feel that way, but usually we don't voice that, because of a reverence for God.  What we forget is that God knows our thoughts, and is aware of those feelings we're struggling with.

Sometimes things come into our lives and we feel like God let us down.  Maybe it's because He didn't answer a fervent prayer, or He  allowed a very difficult situation in your life that brings tears and heartache. Sometimes things just don't make sense, and you say "God, I don't understand!" In our minds we shout, "God, WHY?!"   Whatever it is that causes you to feel that way doesn't matter.  What does matter is how you respond to it.  God sees those thoughts, and knows your questioning heart is asking why.  If you could ask Him why, He would probably gently remind you that it's because He loves you, and He has a plan.  His thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways.  We can know that, but still wonder "WHY?".  That's pretty normal in our human flesh, and I'm sure even the best Christian has had times where they wondered that.  So what do you do with those feelings?

 How  you should NOT respond:

1.  Don't get angry at God.
1.  Don't turn your back on God.
2.  Don't blame God.

How you SHOULD respond:

1.  Communicate your feelings to God.

Tell Him how you feel about the situation.  It isn't going to surprise Him.  I love the song "What a comfort it is to realize that nothing takes God by surprise." He has things under control.  He already knows how you feel, and it will bring healing and comfort to you when you just pour out your heart to Him.  "Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."  (Psalm 62:8 KJV)  Ask Him to help you to with the hurt.  He is a God of mercy, and doesn't scold or cut us off when we come to Him with our hurts.  He responds with love and comforts us.

2.  Realize that God has a plan that you can't see.

It's not all about you, but about Him. Think of when Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt.  They were so happy to finally be free, and then they realized that Pharoah's army was coming behind them, and in front of them was the Red Sea.  I'm sure Moses was asking God why! He didn't realize God had a plan that would show His power, and bring glory to Him.  So when you don't understand, trust God!  In the words of the song writer: "It's for my good, and for His glory."

3.  Find comfort in God's Word.

I Cor. 10:13  He won't give you more than you can bear.   

I Cor. 12:9    His grace is sufficient.

The book of Psalms is full of verses to bring comfort.  Find some verses and claim them!                     

4.  Remember that trials are you help you. (James 1:2-4)

God isn't allowing these things in your life to hurt you, but rather to help you.  He is trying to build you, and refine you.  You can choose to become bitter, or better.  We want God to deliver us from the difficulties and trials of life, but He wants us to develop and grow through those difficulties.  You will only grow if you choose to allow God to teach you as you go through trials.  Ask Him what He wants you to learn from the situation.

Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair; at times it's really hard, and your heart aches.  But remember that the God who loves you, is in control.  The words of this song sum it up very well:

God is always good,  God is always right
No matter what He uses, no matter what He chooses
To place within our lives.
We may not always understand
The unfolding of His perfect plan
But even in through the darkest night
God is always good, and God is always right.

Filed Under: A Good Christian, Anger, Bible, circumstances, God is good, God's grace, God's love, God?!", Need Comfort, reactions, Trials of life, when God disappoints Tagged With: , , , ,

7 Causes of Frustration in Parenting – Part 2

September 21, 2012 By Leave a Comment

7 Causes of Frustration in Parenting – Part 2

Yesterday we talked about the first three causes of frustration in parenting: arguing and sibling squabbles, no sense of accomplishment, and lack of character in your children.  Click here to read Part 1.

4.  Out of Control Children
Children need to be taken from parent control, to self-control, to God control.   That's the big picture to keep in mind.  This goes back to the character issue, and  results when kids haven't learned the character quality of obedience.  If your children haven't learned to obey you, and are out of control, you will be constantly frustrated, and trying to teach them anything academically will be very stressful.  Every day you will fight the battle of the will.  Your children need to learn to listen and obey the first time they are told, without question.  We  taught our children that obedience is doing what you're told with a happy spirit, or with a smile.    I love the words of the Patch the Pirate song, "I Will Obey Right Away":
 

I will obey the first time I'm told, I will obey right away;
Never asking why, never with a sigh,
I will obey right away.

We sang that song OFTEN with the kids! (From Patch Praises 1 CD - Check it out!) If your children learn to obey, and aren't out of control, your days will go much smoother, and be more productive.  There will always be times when the kids struggle with this, even though they've been taught right.  Don't let it upset you, but rather remind them what obedience is, and practice the right  response.  Don't get frustrated and look at discipline and training as an interruption in your day.  Remember, that's our job as parents!  One of the reasons we homeschool our children is so we can daily work on their attitudes, and train them in Godly behavior.  It's more important than getting all the academics done for the day.  If they get all their school work done, but have had  a bad attitude the whole time, it really doesn't mean much.  I'd rather they finish only half of their lessons with a good attitude!

5.  Over Commitment
Life is busy, and we all face the challenge of having to choose which things to say yes to, and saying no to a lot more things than we say yes to.  We can't do it all.  When I get too busy, it crowds out my relationship with the Lord, and with others.  When our days are full with activities, it stresses each member of the family.  Being too busy also increases our physical fatigue, and often our health suffers.  The answer lies in making wise choices.  Go to the Lord and ask Him for His wisdom, and for guidance as to what HE wants for your family; how He wants you to use your time, and spend your days; what activities He wants you involved in.  Go to God and seek His priorities daily.

6.  Disorganization
"Let all things be done decently and in order."  (I Corinthians 14:40 KJV)  Being organized and orderly is important to God.  It also will make a huge difference in your productivity each day.  There's nothing more frustrating than starting your day off looking for school books, paper, or pencils.  Having your kids running around doing their own thing because there is no structure, will add to the confusion.  It is well worth it for you to set aside a block of time to organize your time, and make a weekly schedule for everyone to follow, that includes household management.  Keep in mind that the schedule is a  tool, and not your master.  It is meant to give structure and guidance to  the kids, and enable them to know what is expected each day. It's a way to incorporate your priorities into each day, and accomplish the things that matter.   I would  suggest not worrying about exact times, so much as a routine to follow each day.  Allow for flexibility as needed.

Parenting and homeschooling may not always be easy, and there will be times of frustration. Stay encouraged and excited about the eternal value of the job  God has trusted you with as you raise those blessing for Him!

Filed Under: attentiveness, Bible, blessings, Character, Character resource, chidren are a gift, consistent discipline, diligence, discipline, Discouragement, encouraging children, eternal value, Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated mom, Homeschooling, Mothers, obedience, Parenting, routine for kids, Scheduling, sibling conflict, stressed Mom, structure for kids, training children, wisdom from God

A Joyful Mother? (Part 2)

September 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

 A JOYFUL Mother?!   -  Part 2

"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.|"
Psalm 113:8

Yesterday I shared the 3 things that often steal my joy:  people, circumstances, and worry.  If you missed that post, click here to read it. 

 

Another thing this made me think about is:  HOW DOES MY LACK OF JOY AFFECT MY CHILDREN?
  
1. Will they want to know and love my God?
 I remember something I heard on a CD about giving your kids a heart for God, that really stuck in my mind.  She was talking about making our homes fun, and being fun.  Then the big question: "Why would our children want to know and love our God if we are always grumpy and unhappy?"  Such a GOOD point!  If I am teaching my kids about God and His Word, and trying to instill a love for Him in them, all that teaching will be undone if they see me as an unhappy, stressed, worried mom.   We can't force our children's hearts to love God, but we can give them a hunger for God by showing the joy we have in Him.  There's the old saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink – BUT you can salt his oats."  We can give our kids more of a thirst for God if we are careful to salt their oats by our daily living.   Seeing that we have the joy of the Lord will give our kids more of a thirst for God.
  
2.  Will they learn to trust God with their problems and needs?
 I can teach them the importance of prayer, and encourage them to go to God with their problems.  However, if they SEE me stressing and worrying about circumstances or situations all the time, they are going to have a hard time trusting.  Often when I find myself burdened down about something, and feel it is affecting my spirit, I will talk to the kids about it, and suggest that we pray and ask for God's help in that situation.  I want them to see that when I'm concerned, the best thing to do is go to God.  I have also made it a point to share with them ways that God has answered prayers and provided in different situations.  I especially do that when sharing a burden with them, to remind myself that I can trust God with this new worry, and to help build their faith and trust in God.

CONTINUED TOMORROW…….

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, grouchy Mom, joyful mom, Knowing God, Mothers, Parental example, Parenting, stressed Mom, Teaching God's Word, Teaching kids to trust God, worry

When You Hit a Wall in Your Homeschooling

August 29, 2012 By 6 Comments

When was the last time you got really discouraged in your homeschooling?  Maybe you looked at your kids, and saw attitude issues, or you just felt like you weren't doing a good job handling the academics?  After I'd been homeschooling for a couple of years, I remember getting to a point where I felt discouraged, and like I'd just hit this wall, and couldn't get past it. I felt like I was failing in my efforts to balance the academics, the discipline, time with little ones, etc.   I sent an e-mail to a friend, who was a veteran home schooling mom, with lots of wisdom!  The answer she gave was just what I needed to hear!  God used her words of wisdom to help me get past that wall of discouragement, and focus on the right things.  I am going to share parts of her e-mail, because she said it all so well, and was such an encouragement to me at a time when I was struggling.  I pulled this e-mail out and re-read it MANY times over the years.  She truly hits the nail right on the head.  What an encouragement to focus on what REALLY matters!  I hope it will be an encouragement to you.

"Haven't we all hit this wall as homeschoolers?  Let me tell you how my husband and I have handled this in our own family.

First of all, we go back to "WHY" we are home educating!  For us, it is not academics.  It truly is because we believe God's Word teaches that this is God's desire for us as a family.

Abraham and Isaac are an inspiration to us in this endeavor.  God called Abraham to separate himself and his family from the evil influences of Ur and go out to a desolate place.  Abraham obeyed and didn't worry about how he was going to make a living, or compete with the world.  He merely devoted himself to God and his family. God did the rest and received the glory.

Since our goal for our children is to produce Godly servants of Almighty God, the pressure to accomplish academics is WAY behind character and knowing God's Word.  We are blessed when our children are running around with a teaching CD in their MP3s, or falling asleep in the middle of the day reading their Bibles, or loving and serving their brothers and sisters.  We consider THAT a good day!!

Richard Fugate said something at the CHEO conference a few years ago that should take the pressure off every home schooling parent in America.(Remember, he wrote the Alpha and Omega curriculum from K-12, so he knows what he's talking about.)

    "K-12 curriculum has only 4 years of academic content from the beginning to the end – everything is repeated over and over again year after year.  YOu can take a child and concentrate on Godly character for the first 12 years of his life and not teach ANY academics and then introduce reading.  You'll finish all twelve years in four years, by the time they are 16."

I personally think that the small children benefit from the one on one time that we spend with them doing their academics, but I certainly wouldn't use their accomplishments (or lack of them) to mean anything.

We spend the bulk of our "teaching" time with the littlest ones.  They need the controlled situations, the time spent, things to do to keep them out of trouble, etc.  We require the older chidren to spend time with them also, watching and protecting them and reading to them, and just being with them.

The older children are pretty much on their own academically.  What we have done to facilitate learning and a love of learning (which we think is the secret to success) – not just slogging through a curriculum) is create a library in our home.  We have bookcases everywhere – hallways, in every bedroom, bathrooms, dining room, living room, library, basement, etc.  We buy books at garage sales, GCB, etc.  We budget for books, and have them filed according to topic (Bible reference books, prophecy, biographies, parenting, suffering, purity, children's books, etc.)  Then we got rid of our TV, but do have a monitor for good teaching and children's  DVDS.  Basically, the choices our children have throughout the day are endless and since they don't have the distraction of radio or TV, all of their choices are fine with us.  They can listen to teaching CDs, read books off our shelves, work on their curriculum, help with chores or little ones, etc.

All in all, we are content knowing that we are in the center of God's will by home educating our children.  We use "peace" in our home as the gauge of a successful home schooling day, not how much we have accomplished in a curriculum.  We are confident that God has ordered our day, no matter how many distractions we have, or how many times we have had to start and stop our day.

I hope this is an encouragement to you to concentrate on character development (that includes what assignments they are given in their curriculum), and don't sweat the areas they are not gifted in.  (Math or English, for example)  Make sure their love of learning isn't squelched because of a face off with an academic subject.  As they get older, be discerning of what their interested are and really pour it on in that area.  They only have to be excellent at one thing, not mediocre in a lot of areas.  Give them a working knowledge of the rest, and also teach them how to use resources to find the answers to things they find hard to remember.  (English Handbooks for Grammar, encyclopedias for Science and History, calculators for Math,etc.)  I always remind myself that whenever I go to the doctor, and they are stumped about something I have, they excuse themselves and go into their office where all their BOOKS are, and look it up.  They are the doctor because they have the BOOKS.  They don't know everything in their heads, but they know what books to look at when they are stumped.  That is what we are teaching our children to do also.

Use God's standards as your standard for evaluating your family life.  If Jesus were to come into your home, would He be pleased?  Would His heart be blessed because everyone was loving the baby?  Would He find peace there?  Would He find a family that was devoted to His Word and His work?  Does your heart rejoice in God, your Savior, and the blessing of a houseful of His richest blessings…your children?  Contentment is the test.  Holiness, justice, mercy, grace and truth are our curriculum."

(If you are looking for resources to help you with these ideas, check our our back to school special of my FAVORITE character resources!)  Click here for more info

 

 

Filed Under: Bible, Bible reading, blessings, Character, Discouragement, Feeling overwhelmed, God's love, God's mercy, God's peace, Homeschooling, Parenting, Responsible children, Teaching children responsibility, Teaching God's Word

SEVEN HOMESCHOOLING TIPS

August 19, 2012 By 9 Comments

Tomorrow I am starting my 27th year of homeschooling.   Our oldest seven children have graduated, so this year my only student will be my youngest son, Mark, who is in 10th grade. I want to share some things I learned along the way (usually the hard way!), that I wish someone had told me when we first started teaching our kids.  I hope they will be a help to you, as you start another school year!

1.  Make sure you have goals, and prioritize things based on those goals.  Having goals and priorities will guide you on days that are extra busy, or when you feel overwhelmed.  Always start with what is top priority, and if you don't get EVERYTHING done in a day that you want to, you have at least accomplished the most important ones.  God makes it very easy to know what our priorities are in II Peter 1:6:  "….add to your faith, virtue (character); and to character knowledge."  Start your day with building your kids faith (Bible reading, and memory, then have some kind of character training, and THEN you start on the academics.  God will bless your day when you give Him the first part of it, and follow His priorities.

2.  Be sure and have a schedule or routine.  Children function much better when their days have a regular routine, and they know what to expect.  You will also accomplish much more, and be in control of your children and home, rather than them being in control of you.  Don't stress if your schedule doesn't follow exact time frames, but rather follow a routine.  (Some days Math  will take longer than other days, and doesn't fit in a perfect little 30 or 45 minute time slot.)  With a routine  you and your children have a "rut to run in".  The schedule is the frame, but times can be adjusted within that, and a routine followed.

3.  Make sure you have your children under control.  If they aren't under control, and disobedience and bad attitudes are a normal thing, stop the academics for awhile, and focus on the character.  You can't teach your children if you don't have them under control. I love the following quote about obedience: 

"A child must learn to obey first, or you can never serve as his teacher.  Teaching him to obey, to do his work and stick with it, to follow instructions, not to interrupt, and much more requires your diligent supervision and follow-through.  That is the work of parenting really.  Unless your children learn to listen to your directions and follow them, it doesn't matter how great your resources are.  The first and foremost subject to teach is good behavior born of self-discipline.  (In other words, character!)"

4.  Don't compare yourself with other homeschoolers, and what they are doing, or how they are doing it!  Comparison is one of the biggest causes of discouragement.  The Bible tells us it's NOT WISE to compare ourselves among ourselves.  (II Corinthians 10:12)  Do what God has called YOU to do with your family, and not what He has called them to do.

5.  Realize that your kids may have different learning styles.  What worked with one child, may not work with the next one.  This can be very frustrating if you don't figure out how that child learns.  Some of my kids were great with a textbook; others hated them, and learned nothing from them.  Find what works for each child, and use it.

6.  Have realistic expectations.  Often we set ourselves up for discouragement because we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves, or of our children.  Realize you  have limitations or you will always be frustrated. Don't expect too much from your children.  Realize each one is different, and may progress differently from each other.  It's really okay if one doesn't read at age 5, like the other one.  He WILL learn to read at some point.  All of mine did – but not at the same speed as the other.  Some were fast and ready; others weren't ready quite as early.

7.  Don't expect your "rights".  Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed!  What are the things you think of as your rights?  Time to read a book,  get on Facebook, talk on the phone with a friend, or just a FEW minutes of peace and quiet?  There's nothing wrong with wanting any of those things.  However, if you look at it as your RIGHT, and you don't get to do it because things don't go as planned, you'll be an unhappy mom.  Instead, commit your day and needs to God, and when you do get time to do some of those extras, count it as a blessing!

I hope these few thoughts will help you as you start this new school year!

Filed Under: Bible, Bible reading, Character, Faith, Frustrated Moms, Homeschool goals, Homeschooling, Memorizizing Bible, Mothers, Parenting, Setting goals

Time for Self-Renewal

July 25, 2012 By 3 Comments

As I've struggled with letting go of the thoughts running through my head at night recently, the Lord keeps bringing this verse to my mind:  "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  I was so busy thinking about all that I needed to do, and so busy worrying about different situations, but He kept saying, "I will give you rest."  He was offering it to me, but as in anything someone offers you, you have to be willing to take it.  I needed to let go of everything, and just take His rest, and take responsibility for my own self-renewal.  

The truth is that it's very easy as homeschooling moms to get to the point where our well is empty, and we have little to give to our family.  It's hard to keep our priorities straight, and often there just doesn't seem to be enough time to do it all, so we push ourselves.We get busy doing all kind of "good' things for our children, our husband, and serving outside of the family, that we fail to take responsibility for our own well being. Then it catches us, and we fall apart. How do you know when you're to that point?  Well, for me there were a couple of pretty obvious signs.  One was the audible sigh that came forth when my family asked me to do something for them.  It could be the simplest request, but my fatigue made it seem big to me.  The other sign was the negative thinking.  "I'm such a bad wife/mom.  My kids would have been better off in school," etc.  I had to purposely choose to replace those lies from the devil with the truth of God's Word.  He kept reminding me "Come to me, and I will give you rest.  I will renew your mind, your body, and your spirit."   He was telling me I needed to take time for self-renewal.  I had  to remember that I would be able to serve my family much more effectively (and without the sigh!), if my own well wasn't totally dry.  

If you feel like you are in "deficit living" mode, decide to make time for yourself.  This would include time for physical rest, exercise, proper eating.The most important thing would be staying in tune with the Lord.  Without staying in touch with Him, we will not be able to fulfill his plans for us daily.  We've got to spend time with Him and ask Him to direct our thoughts, and to give us the strength we need.We have to come to Him to get His rest. 

There are 3 key words to remember that will help with this:

  1. Sanctuary – find a place to clear your mind, and hear God's voice daily
  2. Spiritual sustenance – daily spend time in His Word
  3. Simplify – slow down, and focus on the things that matter in the light of eternity.

There's a poem I often read in my workshops, that sums this up so well:
 

COME TO ME
 
Busy every day, have to find my way
Always striving to be better, doing what the books all say
Meet my families needs, keep my house just right
Get up even earlier, stay up late at night
Yet in spite of all my efforts, I’m not all that I should be
So I ask You Lord, how to be my best, and you answer tenderly:
Slow down my child, come to Me alone
Shut the door, come boldly to my throne
As you stay here with me, and you listen earnestly,
You’ll become what you should be …come to me
Now it’s very clear that You want me here
Kneeling in your presence, Lord, daily drawing near
Delighting in your Word, and giving You my cares
Brings my heart and mind such peace
In this precious time we share
It’s here with You Lord, that your plans come into view
When your Word’s impressed upon my heart,
I’ll know what to do.

 

Perhaps you're not at the place of your well being dry, but I would still encourage you to start making it a habit now to make time for self-renewal.  By daily putting your priorities in order, and taking time for self-renewal, you will be able to give much more to the family that God has entrusted you to care for.  

 

Filed Under: A Good Christian, Bible, Character, Discouragement, Frustrated Moms, Homeschooling, Mothers, Parenting, Self-renewal, Time with God

Keeping School in Its Proper Place

June 29, 2012 By 12 Comments

As a homeschooling mom for 26 years, one of my favorite verses has been II Peter 1:5:  "And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue (or character); and to virtue knowledge".  This makes it so easy for me to determine my daily priorities.  My top priority should be to build my kids' faith; next,  help them develop and grow in Godly character, and lastly, teach them academics.  It's so easy to get distracted by the academics, and let them take top priority.

Years ago, when I first started teaching my children, I came across an article in The Teaching Home magazine, called "Keeping School in Its Proper Place".  I copied it, and put it on my refrigerator, to help me remember daily what  God given said was important as I taught and trained my children.  I share this article often when I speak, and many of you have asked for a copy of it.  So I thought I would post it here for all of you to enjoy!  (Unfortunately, I lost the original copy of this, so I can't give credit to the author.)

KEEPING SCHOOL IN ITS PROPER PLACE

We should all attempt to approach the education of our children with an open mind.  by that I mean, let's let go of the preconceived ideas of what schooling should be.  Pretend there are no such things as institutionalized education or typical courses of study.  Start with a blank slate.  here are our children:  now as Godly parents, how and what are we to teach them?

I read once in a dictionary that the word "school" came from the Greek word schole , meaning "spare time."  A group of young Greeks who would listen to teachers in their spare time were called a schole.  This group was eager to learn about science and history.

As homeschooling parents, are we spending our precious time teaching and emphasizing those things which should be considered spare time enrichment?

I have separated what I consider essential learning from spare time activities.  I divided learning into four categories:

1.  Eternal Values.  This is obviously of first importance to the Christian home.  Included here are character development, attitudes, behavior, and personal spiritual growth.  So the time we spend dealing effectively with such issues as lying, disobedience, or grumbling is time I consider well spent.

I also consider learning to read as a priority because of being able to read God's Word.  Reading the Bible and praying together with our children is a very important part of the day.

2.  Practical Living Skills. This section would cover daily chores, child care, and vocational skills.  Along with these we need to teach basic math and writing skills.  In our home, learning to do chores well and with a good attitude comes before "school work".

3.  Spare Time Activities.  The section would be our "school".  School activities include lessons in science, history, or geography.  Others are penmanship, art, music, physical ed, and creative play.  If we have lots of time, there are friends, field trips, games, or good books.  Of course, our goal is to become more efficient and cooperative so we have lots of spare time to enjoy together.

4.  Total Waste of Time.  I have added this category just for fun.  My kids couldn't wait to hear about this one.  They figured it would be the best.  Not so.  Number four includes anything I consider to be a "Total Waste of Time" –fighting, complaining, and 99.9 percent of TV viewing.  Also daydreaming if their work isn't done; if it is, dream on!  Another waste of time is doing school work or chores with a bad attitude.  Obviously we strive to avoid number four!

This breakdown helps me keep my day in focus.  I can stop and ask myself, "Is this worth our time?"  Are we using priority time on spare time fun?  Am I pushing to fill in blanks and workbooks and failing to discipline for wrong attitudes?"

Our goal is to keep school in its proper place and not let it take priority over the more important lessons in life.

As Christian homeschoolers, we all say a Godly upbringing is the priority.  But day to day, what do our kids see us fretting about? Are we sending them a mixed message?

I believe that if we are faithful in the first two categories, God will bless us with rich learning experiences and guard us from wasting our time on those activities that have less or no value.

 

Filed Under: Bible, Character, Faith, Homeschooling, Mothers, Parental example, Parenting

A Place Only You Can Fill!

June 6, 2012 By Leave a Comment

I'm in Naperville, IL tonight for the ICHE convention, where I will be speaking over the next 3 days.  Tonight my son Mark, who is along as my helper, attended the speaker's dinner with me.  We walked into the banquet room, not seeing anyone we knew, and chose a table to sit at.  Before long, the room was filled, as well as our table.  Larry Guthrie, and Norm Wakefield were at our table, and across the room I saw Kevin Swanson and Philip Telfer.  I commented to Mark that I kind of felt like the underdog.  All these big name speakers were there, and they all knew each other; and then there was me, sitting there feeling a little bit out of place.

After our meal, introductions were made, instructions were given, and then Larry Guthrie presented an excellent devotional.  God knew just what I needed!  (Amazing how it always works that way.)  As he got up to speak, he brought out a well-known Tupperware toy.  It's one of those shape sorter balls, where each piece will only fit in the one place it is meant for.

 

He went on to say how there was only one star on there, but lots of other pieces that were just as important.  Each piece filled a hole, just like each speaker had a special place to fill, and a need to meet.  Then he had illustrations about staying focused, and being prepared before the stress comes.  I was very encouraged as God reminded me that I am here for a reason, and He wants me to stay focused, and prepare for the convention so He can use me in that place He chose for me to fill.

Afterwards I got to thinking about how much this also applies to mothers!  It's so easy to feel like what we do is unimportant, or that others are doing a better job than us.  The world would have us think that our role is small, or mundane.  But remember the saying:  The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.  We not only have the privilege of filling the role of caring for our children's physical needs, but more importantly, their spiritual needs.  When we daily spend time teaching our kids about God and His Word, and training them in Godly character, we are investing in something of eternal value!  I can't think of too many things that are more important than that!

So next time you are feeling discouraged, or questioning whether it's really worth all the effort and energy to teach and train your children, remember that God has given YOU a unique place to fill that only YOU can fill.   No one else can do it like you, because God made you for that job!

Filed Under: Bible, Character, Discouragement, Faith, Homeschooling, Mothers, Parenting
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